Hello everyone out there on the stream! It is I, Aud in Oz, the long absent blogger. I've been playing around with my blog page today, making changes, and preparing myself to start blogging again in 08. It was a lousy year here, filled with entirely too much drama and crisis, spent walking around in a fog of confusion, just trying to survive. As I have told my friends, it was one long, nauseating roller coaster ride, and the month of December was the glittery, tinsel covered barf bag on top of the whole thing.

2007 saw my oldest stepson who is 14, being declared legally blind, getting thrown out of school 8 times, and finally expelled and thrown in jail in November for threatening to kill a fellow student. He was suffering from severe depression, abusing drugs & alcohol, and had been huffing for over two years. We ended up putting him in a children's psychiatric hospital to get him the help that he needs. He is getting better now...

In 07 we finally got my youngest stepson the medication he needed to help control his tics brought on by his Tourettes Syndrome. He has somehow managed to thrive despite his own challenges and the chaos around him...

During the summer I was diagnosed with a condition that, if left untreated, could later turn into cancer of the uterus. It was partially brought on by a hormone imbalance, which among other things, caused a good amount of my hair to fall out. I am now on a high dose hormone treatment to see if things can be corrected. Because of that and all the other crap going on, I ended up dropping out of school for the time being. Hopefully I'll get my BA before my 50th birthday (Ha! Ha!).

The husbands ex and I declared an end to the war between us late in the summer. She thinks we are best friends now...I still don't trust her, but I tolerate her for the boys sake. The husband is very uneasy with our new found friendliness. After nearly 9 years at war with one another, it is strange to be able to share the same space without scratching each others eyes out...but I still don't trust her...

The husband and I are still having our differences. With the added stress of all the drama in our lives it hasn't been easy. We are more like roommates instead of husband and wife, but we aren't giving up yet. He learned right before Christmas that the plant he works at may be closing in early 2008...never a dull moment.

Despite all of that, I am trying to remain hopeful that 2008 will be a better year. God only knows what's in store for us...I just hope and pray it will be a better year.

Happy New Year to all of you, and I'll see you in 08!

Hello people of the stream! Remember me? I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by. It's been a looooonnnnngggg time since I last posted anything.

Much has happened since my last post in February, but I won't boar you with the specifics. Here's a Readers Digest version of what's been happening...

The Husband and I are getting along much better now, but we still have our moments. We are still going to counciling, and it has helped.

My oldest step son was declared legally blind in March, and is still struggling with it. Despite that, his Dad has been teaching him how to drive, even though he will never be allowed to have a drivers license.

My youngest step son was diagnosed with Touretts Syndrome this past spring, and we are still trying to find medication to help lessen his symptoms. For the most part he is still the same little spit-fire he has always been.

I spent most of February, March, and April sick with a virus. I ended up having to drop my classes, and missed a lot of work because of it. A month ago I started going to a local fitness center and working out with my Mom. I know it's doing me some good, but it's still kicking my butt. Now I'm taking summer classes, and just trying to get myself on track.

I haven't blogged in forever because I've had computer problems. But hopefully now I can get back in the groove of things. I've missed being here.

Hope all of you have been well. _Aud

It's late, and I should be sleeping, but I'm too wound up...let me rephrase that...I'm totally pissed off and fed up and I need to vent.  Please excuse my rant, but here goes...

Today the husband and I made a flying 425 mile road trip.  After getting up at the ass crack of dawn, we drove 2 hours to our first stop at his attorneys office.  The husband has finally came to the end of his ropes with his ex wife and decided to go for full custody of the boys.  We went to "Sharks" office, presented out concerns, (more on the specific reasons later), and were told that we do have grounds for concern and a good chance at winning our case...that is if we can come up with $4,500 up front to cover the cost of having an independent person come in, evaluate our home, and hers, do background checks into all our lives to prove who has the more stable home.  The judge won't touch a child custody case without one. 

The problem?  We don't have that kind of money, and short of winning the lottery, I don't know how or when we could come up with that kind of cash.  Add to that, the attorney said that even if we started the process today, it wouldn't get into court befor July.  And by the time it's all said and done, the entire process could cost us between 8 and 10K.  The entire hour was very discouraging.  I don't know what we will do now.  The thought of the boys having to continue going through this crap because we can't afford to rescue them makes me mad, and makes the husband upset beyond words.

Fast forward two hours from that, to an appointment for my oldest Step son at a place called Envision in Wichita.  He had an appointment with a vision specialist to see if they could do anything to help inhance what little vision he has left. 

For the first time in 3 years, I actually saw excitement and hope in him.  The are going to be able to "fix" his current perscription glasses to make them sharper and clearer.  They also showed him different equiptment that is availible to help him in school.  For the first time in his life he was able to read a newspaper, thanks to a special machine that magnified everything he read.  He was so excited, and the husband and I were in tears. 

The downside of the afternoon:  Hagatha came to the appointment with her mother, the blue-haired windbag I refer to as "Big B".  She did nothing but run my step son down, trash talk my husband, and rag on my being there.  Hagatha was her ususal self:  nasty, rude, and playing the drama queen.  Being stuck in an office for 5 1/2 hours with those two, took every bit of patience I had.  At the end, it was all I could do to keep my husband from going across the confrence room table and taking out Big B.  We finally had to leave.  The boys are with them this weekend, and it just makes me ill to think about it.

I'm tired, and I know I'm babbling and not making much sence right now so I'll shut up.  I just wish I could unscrew my head off my shoulders, and shake all the crap out.....I am full. 

Sometimes life just smells like a shit sandwich.............

 

Hey everybody!  Sorry I've been MIA for so long.  Just up to my eyeballs in the everyday life stuff:  work, back in school, working on stuff with the husband, and dodging S bombs the husbands ex throws my way.

My oldest step son is doing better with dealing with his deteriorating vision.  He is learning to use a white cane, and is beginning to accept things.  I'm really proud of his new more positive attitude.  We had an ice storm two weeks ago, and he went out snowboarding on the ice.  At least he's finally decided that he's not going to give up. Here's a silly picture of him (it was a little cold).

Other than that, I'm just trying to hold on to what little bit of sanity I have.  We are headed out to the in laws for the weekend, so it will be a nice brain clearing getaway.

Have a good weekend everybody!  I'll be back as soon as I can.

 

Three days into the new year and things are already smelling like a repeat of 06....FOUL!

My oldest step son was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa about 3 years ago. It is a degenerative disease which may eventually cause him to go totally blind, and to date, there is no cure. We have been seeing changes in him over the past few months (sitting closer to the tv, bumping into stuff more, having trouble reading, etc.) so we took him back to the eye doctor today. The news wasn't good...

His vision has gotten worse...to the point where the doctor said changing the script on his eye glasses won't help, and she wants him to start learning brail and how to use a white cane.

Needless to say, he is devistated, and so are we. We knew this day would come, but didn't think it would happen so soon (we found out three years ago that he had the condition). He has been in denial about how bad his eyes are for a long, long time, and told his Dad and I tonight that he wishes he would just go blind and be done with it.

He has already given up, and feels like his life is over. The reality has set in that he will never be able to drive a car, or do a lot of the things boys his age are doing...He turns 14 in ten days. How do you get through to a kid who thinks he is worthless and has nothing to live for? He has so much potential. It just breaks my heart to see him this way.   Shit like this shouldn't happen to kids...